ShitBox - Angeles City Newsletter for April 2009

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April 2009

Here is the shit that happened so far this past stenching hot month; April 09 in AC:
The Clark-entry to SMClark is STILL open all day from lunch onward. It NOW requires FOUR security guards with NO chaperone by CDC Police....checking your trunk/backseat. Suddenly...”parking” has become a prime issue on Fields Ave. Lately many shops on Fields, including the Hotel Amsterdam and it’s neighbouring hotel across the street.....have been flooding the curbside with “No Parking” placards. I mean...where the fuck are all these phantom cars...supposedly lined up to park there? LOL! Most of those “renegades” parking...are the business-owners themselves. LOL! This shitty little town has become flushed with gambling joints lately....like some kinda dysfunctional “Atlantic City” of the East. LOL!
Da Bars:
Valhalla: (The old DMZ Bar) Rumor has it that it was raided recently. Closed.... just after the new owner paid an insane amount of money for it buying it from Tick. Who the fuck cares? LOL! Bada Bing!: (new) Still under construction. Another “Harro” creation...however brief it may be. LOL! At least after 6 months, it will be ready for a re-sub-lease to another gltzy-eyed adventurous bloke. LOL! Shanno’s Pub: Renovated and reopened. Other than the poker tables, the joint looks practically the same. Another “Vegas” wannabe. LOL! Casi Cielo: Relax-Rate hits 700Php. The justification is a larger room, aircon and shower facility. The problem is the fucking aircon isn’t turned on till you use the room, so it’s still fucking hot, and the shower has no fucking water pressure up on the second floor, so all you get is a drip. (pardon the pun. LOL!) They DO have a few more girls now, though. Duke of York STILL has the best and most girls. Viper Room: (Now gonna be called; “Fantasy Club) Another smudge by the La Pasha group. Destined to open this coming Friday May 8...though you wouldn’t know it, considering the pile of construction workers and debris still engulfing the entrance, I mean...why in hell go through all that fucking expense, effort and most-importantly...delay....to fucking remodel an existing club that was in full operating condition? Shit guys! Just fill the place up with fucking (I mean it literally) girls...and the customers will come! Silly Hat Bar: Formerly Studebakers/Formerly Callilac Jack’s: Looks busy practically every night. Rumor has it the girls are no fuss...no muss. They know their function and perform it without the Fields Ave genre. Bedrock: Re-opened...sans the slot machines. The Truck Stop/Flamingo Lounge: The joint on A.Santos where the Long-John-Hair guy used to sing is closed. Long Hair John opened his own place beside Willie Pigs on Perimeter Rd. Peanuts Bar: Not bad at all. Small and homey. WE 4 U PUB: A little-know place on that shit-street running parallel to Fields Ave. Worth a vist. Sorta like A.Santos-style. Happy Rock: (Formerly “Goodtimes Bar”) Recently ripped the “Aussie” portion off their signs. LOL! Champagne Goup: Is now looking for a mamasan. Times are tough for the ol’ bubbly now, ay? LOL! They also now decided to advertise that they are looking for; “only girls of legal age.” Fucking funny. Tropix: Now features; “Exotic Lap Dancing”. What the flying fuck???? LOL! This is fucking AC in the Philippines! NOT Allentown, PA!!!!! LOL! Incidentally, the Dollhouse Group not only allows, but ENCOURAGES both picture AND video taking in its bars. Go figure! LOL! Club68: Raided and closed. Another one bites the dust. LOL! Tarts Bar: Closed. Big Surprise! LOL! Roy’s Pub: Re-open, remodelled, (here we go again) but it IS cleaner now.
Hotels/Apartelles:
Wild Orchid: Construction of a new expansion by the group...between the Wild Orchid and Johnny’s Supermarket’s rear warehouse. Let’s hope the put some light up on that fucking street. LOL! A shady part of town to stroll down at night. LOL! Villa Modesto: A breath away from completion into a ST-Motel. Wobbly Pension House: Still open. Still fully-booked. Still the absolute best value in town at less than 600php per night. Truly Spartan amenities. The showers and toilets still miraculously work. LOL! Tell your EWR you are staying there. The look on her face will be absolutely priceless. LOL! It runs along the same lines as the girl’s stay-in abode. Lewis Grand: Busy with functions and conferences lately. There IS a shortage and quite a demand for such venues in AC, believe it or not. LOL!
Restaurants:
3M Pizza Pie: At the foot of Fields, across MacArthur Hwy. Not bad, actually. Worth a try. C’Dining: Busy as ever. Good on you Chris! CHS Deli: Beside Crazy Horse Saloon. The Deli that never was. LOL! Marietta’s Carinderia: Beside Matrix Brawn Bar. An interesting place to hang out. Don’t fucking eat there...you don’t wanna get sick! LOL! But you can pick up many passing “sneakouts” passin’ by. LOL! Limited Edition Bar/Cafe? What gives? LOL! CAFE? RIP: Remember that absolute shithole of a bar next to the ABC Hostel’s Parking lot? Well, its closed. LOL! I forget the fucking name. Tequila Reef Cantina: I posted a review of that place already. Nice warm bright interior. Clean as a whistle. Terrific service. Food comes quick. They STILL have an issue with overcooking their food. Give it some time. Hopefully it will improve. Dobling’s Food Haus: Yet ANOTHER Euro-trash store/Deli. Located where the old Willie Pigs used to be. Don’t these guys get the message? There are TOO MANY of such joints in AC for the number of customers! Whew! LOL! Next door to that wannabe-condo place (now ceased construction due to lack of funds.) there is being constructed what looks like a Pattaya Beer Bar, but probably will be just another local BBQ Eatery. Roadside Deli: Another wishful dream. Have never seen a solitary customer in there...EVER! Good luck fellows. Riang Kafe: (What da fuck does THAT mean? LOL!) Another wannabe business being reno’d on Perimeter Rd. Best of luck! Sincerely! LOL! Misc.: A 35 year old Chines “Rapper” in SM. Funny as hell! LOL! Look Ma! I got 5 Barfines! I am dining with class at SM Hypermarket Food Court. LOL!

So much for April. It has been raining like the dickens for the last few weeks of the month. Looks like an early rainy season. Last year was an extended one. Go figure. Stay out of shit.
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